What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Why do many modern Hollywood films rely heavily on CGI and visual effects instead of actual sets? What is your opinion on this trend?

What! how could you do that?

True - how I loved my mum!

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

8 of the most controversial album covers of all time - dazeddigital.com

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What misfortune led to an important discovery?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Do you know what she said mum?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Do interviewers discriminate against a candidate if he or she is overweight (assuming physical fitness is NOT part of the job requirements)?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

If the world was flat, would it be possible to see Mount Everest if it was on the other side of the Earth on a clear sunny day?

What do you mean son?